Hello Internets

have you missed me?

You may wonder where I've been for the last few months. You may wonder why on earth I've bothered coming back...

Well, I decided to step away from the computer for a while before I got stuck in an eternal rut of reviewing Holby City endlessly (although this week's episode was blinding so it's tempting to jump back in...) and as the kids from Why Don't You used to urge I went out and did something less boring instead. Nothing special. It's not as though I've saved any rainforests or led a revolution - I've just spent less time sitting at the computer. However in these times of credit crunching (I really don't understand any of what's going on there - give all the bankers a towel and something with "Don't Panic" written in it in large friendly letters then surely everything will go back to normal and I can stop eating Asda economy ham for every meal) there isn't much else for it except sitting at the computer. And I've watched everything there is to offer on iplayer, and 4OD is playing up again, so here I am.

Just to ease myself back in here are some thoughts that have been crossing my mind today;

1. I really very much wish that I hadn't left my house keys in a music shop in Dundee yesterday as it made getting into my house when I returned at 11pm somewhat troublesome. My poor Mum had to drive from Arbroath to rescue me as she was the closest person I could think of with keys. Now, it was a bit chilly last night so I had an idea to go and shelter in Big Asda (open 24 hours) while I was awaiting rescue instead of hiding in my shed or huddling against the door. In theory that was all very well, but it did involve a 45 minute walk through a council estate in the middle of the night, where someone was set to fire for no apparent reason a short while ago. And yet my Mum was wholehearted in her support of this plan and said I should definitely go there and she would collect me as close to 1am as she could manage. Of course, being a mother she can't work her mobile phone...so 10 minutes later when I was in the middle of Dunfermline's answer to South Central and heard a gang of marauding youths (probably with knives), emerging from the pitch black park, it was too late to let her know I had changed my mind and picked hypothermia as a preference over multiple stab wounds.

2. When I eventually made it to Asda, was it the cold and the fear and the general surreal nature of browsing after midnight that made me imagine that I read the cover of a book called something long the lines of "The Amazing Power of Animals" written by a medium who communicates with dead pets? Including Charlie, his own dead springer spaniel. Who decided that was going to be a surefire Christmas hit?

3. Speaking of books I saw in Asda - and hits (or more accurately hitting) for that matter... what is it about Alan Carr that just makes me want to punch him in the face? I know he's all saucy and self deprecating and "hilarious", but honestly, can someone just fit him with some kind of dimmer switch? or perhaps get his teeth fixed. Or give him voice training, or a better haircut. Or something. There must be something that would make me not sigh heavily and roll my eyes back into my head every time I see him.

4. And onto cars (see, stay with me, there is a train of thought here). Is it some kind of gender pre-programming that makes me want a ridiculously small and cute car, even though as a double bass player anything without a hatchback is simply insane? I can't look at a Smart car without a small tightening of the womb. And as for the ridiculous Fiat bubble car things that I saw while walking past Arnold Clark's at stupid o'clock this morning...I know they are £8k for something that would be blown of the road if overtaken by a Micra...but soooo cute. And no, I can't elaborate on exactly what model of Fiat it they were. I'm a girl. However, on this occasion I can't even give you a colour because it was dark. But sooooo cute.

5. Why is it now impossible to buy a banana to eat today? Since when did it become necessary to plan banana consumption a week in advance? In my blog absence I have become slightly obsessed with baking banana bread. I have yet to perfect the recipe, but I'm getting close. (The latest incarnation is to have more banana, less sugar and added cocoa powder and dark chocolate chips.) I got to the shop after work all fired up to nail it tonight but had to buy green bananas. What use are green bananas to anyone? The magic will be gone from my baking inspiration by the time they are ready to mash at some point in November. America will elect a President faster than I can make banana bread!

I could go on...and no doubt will in the coming days, but we'll just treat this as a warm up.

I think it's going to be good to be back